Sometime I asked myself, what kind of big achievement I had achieved so far? I tried my best to accomplish every single little things in my life till now, I tried my ever best to become a person who other can rely on. But there always someone who come to disturb our mind, come to tell us that we are not good enough. I used to think that is some Devil/Satan who hanging around us whispering into our ears, I’m wrong.
A real person come in front me and told me that I am weak.
Am I weak? the answer is NO.
I’m not weak, he is the one who are weak and envy others who can gained better. I’m not sure why he have to disturb other who work hard for themselves, he is just a person who do not plan for himself, work hard, always blame others for ignore him. I saw many people tried to help him, tried to lift him up, but he choose to sink into SIN, Laziness, world of Darkness. I can not do anything on his life, even though in Buddhist teaching, we shall not let go anyone one of our friend, or family member. I do try many way to communicate with him, but failed. I found I was talking to a WALL, a WALL written “I do not care about how you all think about me..”
Fine, that is his life, he should responsible for it, not me, and not others. Why he can’t just stay aside and keep quiet? Why he need to make someone I care suffering? Does he feel happier like this?
I can not find the answer for this. I just tell myself, no matter what he will do, I will protect from being hurt by him. I will shout at him when I needed “You, Just leave her alone, and f*k off~“